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Being Boring by Wendy Cope, bucket lists, celebrating the ordinary, Martha Stewart, Mesquite, WEGO Health Activist Writer's Month, Wendy Cope
This is an updated version of a piece of writing I started over a year ago. Today seemed as good a day as any to be thankful for all the routines and rituals that keep the little trio that is my family on solid ground. Day 22 of this month-long writing challenge asks that we write about something ordinary that inspires or drives us . . .
Years ago, I had one of those very lucid and realistic dreams in which I had misplaced an important book. I was searching high up and low down for it in a dark and unfamiliar house. I awoke, frantic and unsure if it had all just been a dream, but I was still perturbed to have lost this book, “the big book of simple pleasures.” Sounds plausible, even now, that such a book could have existed in reality bringing to mind a compendium of Martha Stewart’s good things. The very notion of it appeals to me as does an ordinary day filled to the brim with simple pleasures and the time to fully savor them. It is often in the mundanity of life, within commonplace conversations and overlooked moments, that we find the stories of ourselves. Consider all the ordinary things we scratch and scribble onto post-it notes and paper napkins, all the reminders to do or acquire the stuff we need to keep us on solid ground, our grand ideas hastily captured on a napkin over a glass of wine with a friend, our lists of instructions on what to do and what not to do, even our growing bucket lists of dreams yet to come true. In such a book, there is no place for a message received too late, a fence never mended, or undeniable evidence of a loved one’s harrowing descent into memory loss. One would find only those ordinary certainties like those that make a Sunday morning.
On Sundays, I am slow to stir, in spite of the predictable sunshine streaming in. Thinking I might still be asleep, my husband will ever so quietly make a pot of coffee. But I am awake. Still. Enjoying the distinct sounds of newspaper pages turning, a tiny shower of cereal falling into a bowl, bread popping from the toaster, and the tell-tale stifled chuckle if my daughter has been successful in snagging the Sunday comics from the newspaper that has been strategically arranged for reading by my husband. There is some outside but welcome interference – random arpeggios composed by California wind-chimes hanging heavy from a magnificent Chilean mesquite tree in the middle of our backyard; the distant rumble of a truck on an otherwise abandoned freeway; the plaintive coo of the mourning doves, and the soft woof of a neighbor’s dog. It is a Sunday morning spell, cast just for me, its effects slow to subside.
Workday mornings are different. We are a little more hurried and harried by thoughts of what and what not to wear, what needs to be turned in, last minute signatures on a permission slip, money for lunch, reminders to take vitamins and to have a really great day, even when we know the day will only be great when we return home again. Just one more cup of coffee, a goodbye hug and a kiss. An “I love you,” and “I love you too.” “See you tonight.” When it’s my turn to leave for work, I can count on three things: my husband will blow me a kiss, flash a peace sign, and watch from the window until I disappear from view. A tiny, ordinary ritual that ensures a perfect farewell. Fare well. Every day.
Thus we mark time. Far better to consider the quotidian moments such as these that should saturate the space that stretches from sunrise to sunset. No subtext, no surprises. Each of us on solid ground. Home.
Being Boring by Wendy Cope
“‘May you live in interesting times,’ Chinese curse
If you ask me ‘What’s new?’, I have nothing to say
Except that the garden is growing.
I had a slight cold but it’s better today.
I’m content with the way things are going.
Yes, he is the same as he usually is,
Still eating and sleeping and snoring.
I get on with my work. He gets on with his.
I know this is all very boring.
There was drama enough in my turbulent past:
Tears of passion-I’ve used up a tankful.
No news is good news, and long may it last.
If nothing much happens, I’m thankful.
A happier cabbage you never did see,
My vegetable spirits are soaring.
If you’re after excitement, steer well clear of me.
I want to go on being boring.
I don’t go to parties. Well, what are they for,
If you don’t need to find a new lover?
You drink and you listen and drink a bit more
And you take the next day to recover.
Someone to stay home with was all my desire
And, now that I’ve found a safe mooring,
I’ve just one ambition in life: I aspire
To go on and on being boring.”
Marie Ennis-O'Connor (@JBBC) said:
I never read that poem before but I love it! There’s a lot to be said for boring sometimes 😉
Editor said:
I know. Bring it on! 🙂
Martha Brettschneider said:
I’ve been following your blog for some time now, and even wrote a comment or two, but somehow my words disappeared before going through successfully. This post was so beautiful, though, that I’m giving the comment process another try.
Your voice has the same magical musicality as Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s in A Gift From the Sea. Perhaps it was last week’s post where you mentioned that people have encouraged you to write a memoir. Please do! I’ll be the first to buy it!
As a fellow breast cancer survivor (2009 was my mastectomy year) and mother of teens (two boys, 14 and 17), your writing resonates with me on so many levels. And the quality of your writing is exquisite. Thank you for sharing your gifts–your insights, wisdom, craft, and poetic approach to the world.
And yes, let’s all raise a glass to “boring”!
Editor said:
Oh, I am so glad you persevered and made that comment come through!!
Thank you so much for the fabulous compliment! I’m not sure what to say other than I am now heading straight to Amazon to find A Gift from the Sea 🙂
Sometimes, I like to imagine all of us who gather in this virtual world, standing on the one plot of land, looking skyward, our glasses raised to our health … and, of course, to boring 🙂
How are you doing these days … and your boys?
All the best,
yvonne
Jeanie said:
Yes, each of us on solid ground. After dx & treatment for BC, what a deeply satisfying notion. To sit with my morning coffee here in Northern California, under the afghan my grandmother made, reading your blog and looking out at my winter garden… a few cala lilies blooming here and there; my husband in his office down the hall…how comforting. A safe mooring, indeed. Thank you for your very eloquent and elegant writing, and thank you for the poem.
Editor said:
Thank you for such an elegant comment. It makes me smile to think of Northern California, one of my favorite places on earth. and you safely moored there.
Yvonne.
bethgainer said:
I love this poem! “Boring” is a good status sometimes. I enjoyed reading this.
Editor said:
My favorite way to be, Beth 🙂
Editor said:
Thanks, Beth. Yes, sometimes it is the only status worth pursuing 🙂
jbaird said:
What a wonderful existence you have. I’ve never read that poem before, but would love it if my life were boring. How much I long to go back to that era of the working, healthy wife and mother before the upheavals of the last few years of my life. Viva la boredom! xo
Editor said:
I have to remind myself of the wonderful things, Jan, that really should always be at the forefront, instead of other people’s priorities and put-downs.
I am so sorry for all you have faced over the past few years. Know that I think of you often.
x
Lois Hjelmstad said:
I also love the poem you shared and your exquisite writing. With my husband grounded, temporarily I hope; no travel in the past five months or on the horizon; and an unusually long winter; I have found a sweet peace in eating breakfast in the same place every day, endless hours to work, and slipping into the same bed with my beloved husband every night. Life is good.
Editor said:
I am so glad life is so good for you Lois. I have the same breakfast every single day because it was the breakfast my husband made for me every single day when I was recovering from the mastectomy – poached egg, toast, strawberries, orange, and blueberries. Even when I’m out of town, I find a way to have the exact same breakfast 🙂
Sweet peace indeed. Thank you for the compliment about the writing. Honestly, I don’t know where it comes from. A release, I suppose.
xo
karen sutherland said:
dear yvonne,
what a lovely take on what can seem “boring”. i love wendy cope’s poem, it’s both charming and so reaffirming. here in the east, spring has been so very slow to come. it teases us with flowering trees and bushes and perenial bulbs bursting out gorgeous colors – then retreats into cold, grey days and fusty drizzle. i lose the monentum of being galvinized to happily work on getting the sun porch open, the trees pruned, and the frog fountain once again spitting out water into the pond, mucked out with the winter’s deposit of debris. i’m rarin’ to go. then – bleck.
but slowly, i am learning to sync myself with the rythym (?) of nature that has a mind of it’s own. best not to fight it, but just give in and embrace another chance to wear my cashmere pants, snug myself up in flannel pjs to have a happily quiet read in bed, go back to a nice cup of hot coffee, and know there will soon be days of icy pitchers of arnold palmers and a chance to wear sandals again. i go back to what was boring and am comforted that i can feel still feel able savor the small rituals that i was hoping to replace with all that comes with sunny, warm days. i know they will be back soon, and at a more reliable pace – but for now, a good crossword in the NYT’s to do with hugh, and resumimng our walks shrouded in coats and warm gloves to keep toasty warm will be just fine.
love, XOXO,
karen, TC
Editor said:
Dear Karen
Thank you so much for stopping by! Isn’t Wendy Cope’s poem terrific? Sometimes when I am caught up in non-boring activities that truly are not as important as they are made out to be, I recite bits of it in my head.
Absolutely best not to against the grain with Mother Nature – we are on the edge of summer here with 90 degree days already. The mornings are still cool, so perfect for a walk or a run, but I’m just not there yet 🙂 I know I’ll resume soon and that ritual will be part of my life again. Oh, and pedicures! A sure sign of summer, my daughter had our first of the season on Sunday. We’ll be turning the air-conditioner on soon, and maybe by the end of May the pool will be warm enough.
And when it is unthinkably hot, in August, I will be ready to sell my soul for a walk with you and Hugh, in coats and warm gloves 🙂
y
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