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Half-watching The Emmy’s, I looked up when Candice Bergen took the stage in a sparkly dress.

Bergen has always had a relevance in my “American life.” In December 1988, shortly after she showed up as Murphy Brown on primetime TV, I took up permanent residence in the USA. And for the next decade, I liked knowing I could find her if I needed her on a Thursday night at nine o’clock.

For many women, Murphy Brown was what Mary Tyler Moore had been to Candice Bergen, “I think Mary Tyler Moore really made women feel they were entitled to a career and to be defined without a man.” Following Moore’s death in 2017, Candice Bergen said Murphy would never had existed had Mary Richards not paved the way. In fact, Bergen had been told during the production of “Murphy Brown” to look to her predecessor for inspiration. “You want to see the yardstick of a great sitcom? Watch ‘Mary Tyler Moore.’

Characterized as “Mike Wallace in a dress,” Murphy Brown was tough and didn’t suffer fools. She was also described as “one of the boys,” a moniker that has been applied to me a time or two, prompting me then— and now— to consider what it really means to be a boy, to be a man. On this question, I wouldn’t have consulted Dan Quayle in 1992 nor would not ask J.D. Vance in 2024. Given what the contender for Vice President has said about what it means to be a woman, I think I can figure out the rest.

At the end of the 1991-92 season of Murphy Brown, the nation was in a stir, with 38 million viewers tuning in for the finale to see Murphy give birth and then sing “Natural Woman” to her newborn son. The White House tuned in too. A fictional single mother with a fictional baby boy drew the ire of non-fictional Vice President Dan Quayle who, during President George H.W. Bush’s reelection campaign, told an audience at the Commonwealth Club of California:

It doesn’t help matters when prime-time TV has Murphy Brown, a character who supposedly epitomizes today’s intelligent, highly paid professional woman, mocking the importance of fathers by bearing a child alone and calling it just another lifestyle choice.

Chiding Murphy Brown, a make-believe divorced news anchor in her 40s for her decision to have a child outside of marriage, these words would come to define Dan Quayle nearly as much as his ability to spell “potato.” The White House explained that his remarks were intended to “stir a debate” over “family values” and Hollywood’s treatment of them. Mission accomplished. The nation lost its mind. The media salivated. And then the nation moved on to something else, like Murphy’s latest hairdo, meanwhile the issue of policies that might have something to do with the percentage of absent fathers went undiscussed.

For a few moments at The 2024 Emmys, the nation was reminded that we haven’t changed that much since 1992, divided again—or still— over the values by which Americans should raise their families.

When the Murphy Brown show ended in 1998, Murphy had a son, and I had a brand new baby girl. Smitten, my baby made me feel like a natural woman too, but she also intimidated me like no other force in my life – six pounds of pure hope in my arms. An “older” first-time mother, I often wondered if I was up to the task of motherhood.  I know now that I was. I am.

Motherhood had exposed a vulnerability in the irascible Murphy Brown, as did the diagnosis of her breast cancer in the final season. The latter was a vulnerability that was no match for her big hair or the business-suit armor and the smart-ass attitude. Out of the blue – the way life happens –  I would meet a similar fate 13 years later, not fully aware of what the woman who played Murphy knew. I’m aware now. Cancer and widowhood and storms that pass remind me still of Lou Reed’s wisdom – “There’s a bit of magic in everything, and some loss to even things out.”

I have been an incredibly lucky girl. Which is why when a big shadow falls … it feels like the rug is being pulled out from under you, as if to say, “Now we’re going to give you the real stuff.” That’s how the universe works. Life is wondrously and appallingly surprising. Anyone who doesn’t know that is unarmed.

In its rebuke to Quayle in 1992, Murphy Brown incorporated some of his comments into the show, drawing about 70 million viewers.Perhaps it’s time for the Vice President to realize that whether by choice or circumstance, families come in all shapes and sizes, and ultimately what really defines a family is commitment, caring and love.Real news on a fake news show.

In her rebuke to J.D. Vance tonight at The Emmy’s, Candice Bergen opened with this:

For 11 years, I had the tremendous privilege of playing the lead in a comedy series called Murphy Brown. I was surrounded by brilliant and funny actors. Had the best scripts to work with. And in one classic moment, my character was attacked by Vice President Dan Quayle when Murphy became pregnant and decided to raise the baby as a single mother. Oh, how far we’ve come. Today, a Republican candidate for vice president would never attack a woman for having kids. So as they say, My work here is done. Meow.

Meow.

P.S. With only 50 days until Election Day, please make sure you have all you need to vote. Please visit Vote.org to check your registration status, register to vote, vote by mail, and get election reminders etc. We have a ways to go.

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